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Rudolph William Louis Giuliani
Rudy Giuliani.jpg
Mr. Giuliani
Political Party: Democratic (Before 1975)

Independent (1975–1980) Republican (1980–present)

Education: Manhattan College (B.A.)

New York University (J.D.)

Religion Roman Catholicism
Born May 28, 1944
Here we're parodying Conservapedia, and we know we're exaggerating.

Rudolph William Louis "Rambo" Giuliani, under the pseudonym Harry Parritestikels is the former mayor of New York City. He was of low intelligence until he announced a candidacy for the 2008 United States Presidential election, at which time his brain was taken over by Karl Rove, Roger Stone, Roy Cohn and Brett Kavanaugh, and became a horrible flesh-eating monster bent on world domination. He was also married to his second cousin, that shouldn’t matter too much as they have one gene in 32 or 64 in common. First cousin marriages are legal. Further he was the only 2008 presidential candidate who has performed in drag.

Giuliani seems to be a fan of Current Attorney General Loretta Lynch.[1]

In 2016 Giuliani Said that Hillary Clinton could be considered a founding member of ISIS, [2]which ws a bit silly.

Giulaini has become adviser and personal lawyer to Donald Trump and frequently supports Trump. He has to be the most incompetent lawyer for a President in US history. Trump hasn't fired him because he is one Trump's biggest suck ups (Also Giuliani he has insurance against that)

In December 2020, Giuliani revealed he had tested positive for Covid-19.

Liberal or conservative

Giuliani has stated that he is both pro-choice and pro-gay rights, but has also said he would appoint conservative justices. This worries a lot of liberal thinkers and liberal voters. What good is claiming liberality on social issues if you're just going to appoint conservative justices who wont protect liberal rights? That's just conservative deciet right there. Funny he has also said "In choosing a President, we really don't choose a Republican or Democrat, a conservative or liberal. We choose a leader." He is seen as useless by Mainstream America for exploiting his involvement during and after the 9/11 tragedies and he said during his speech at the dreaded 2008 Republican National Convention "We, the people, the citizens of the United States, get to decide our next president, not the left-wing media, not Hollywood celebrities, not anyone else but the people of America." His ego and power hungry nature tend to override doing the right thing. For these reasons, mainstream America rejects Rudy.

Giuliani was involved in frivolous law suits trying to overturn the 2020 U.S. Presidential Election when Donald Trump lost to Joe Biden.

Efficiency

One of the good things that Rudy has talked about on the campaign has been the need to make the United States Federal Government more efficient. Unfortunately, this message (which both liberals and conservatives should be talking about) is lost because while campaigning he has his cousin/wife/woman call him and he's become a joke. This is sad because the issues raised are important to the national discourse. Claims of liberality are deceitful if ones actions exempt the powerful or subject only the powerless to enforcement of law. Both liberals and conservatives desire efficient government, though conservatives often attack both the scope and proficiency of government when it impacts their favorites, and then campaign for it's reduction or elimination.

Nicknames

During Giuliani's career as Trump's incompetent lawyer, comedian Stephen Colbert has given him many nicknames and alter egos.

  • "Trump's personal lawyer and taxidermy owl that the dog got after Rudolph Giuliani."
  • "Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani, seen here listing how many times he's been right on tv." (holding up one finger)
  • "Rudy Giuliani, seen here realizing what he's become."
  • "Trump's lawyer and man asking if you're gonna finish that baby Rudy Giuliani."
  • "Man doing the 10 year challenge between his top and bottom teeth."
  • "Snake preparing to eat a whole antelope."
  • "Drunk customer attempting to crawl through the drive-thru window."
  • "Baby learning how babies are made."
  • "Man seeing the evidence against Donald Trump."
  • "Man who's just as shocked as you are that he's allowed on tv."
  • "Man praying to lose his job."
  • "Trump lawyer and Phantom of the Flat Screen Rudy Giuliani."

References

External links

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