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This part of the article is serious.


James Buchanan Jr.
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Mr. Buchanan
Political Party: Democratic Party
Education: Dickinson College
Religion Presbyterianism
Born April 23, 1791
Died June 1, 1868 (aged 77)

James Buchanan Jr. was a Democrat who was in office just before Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War. He served in the Pennsylvania militia during the War of 1812.

In those times the Democratic Party was far more Conservative than it is today. Buchanan supported Slavery despite being a Northerner. James Buchanan was considered one of the worst Presidents of the United States. Later Buchanan supported Lincoln during the Civil War. Buchanan vacillated saying and doing first one thing then another. Civil War didn't quite happen during the Buchanan presidency but started soon after.

Could anyone else have done better during those difficult times? Probably not.

Liberal presidents

Here we're parodying Conservapedia, and we know we're exaggerating.

It took Abraham Lincoln to clean up after Buchanan, this was the first major event where a conservative screwed stuff up and a liberal fixed it (Other times would be the 1930s, the early 60's, the 90's, and 2009. [1][2][3]

Bachelor President

While some presidents entered the White House as bachelors, Buchanan was the only one who died a bachelor. This made modern historians theorize that he was either asexual, celibate or a homosexual. But in actuality, he was once engaged to Ann Coleman, but she died of an accidental overdose. So distraught by her death, Buchanan swore he would never marry. He did have his niece fulfill some of the First Lady's roles, but let's hope he didn't confuse his niece with Coleman.

Pros & Cons

Pros

  • Didn't respond to the Southern states seceding with violence

Cons

  • Heavy drinker at all hours of the day, while in office
  • Suffered from severe depression (not necessarily his fault, but not what you want in the commander-in-chief)
  • The Dredd Scott decision
  • The “Bleeding Kansas” Crisis
  • The Utah War
  • The Panic of 1857
  • Did nothing to stop the brewing Civil War
  • 7 states seceded while he was still in office

References

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