National Rifle Association

The National Rifle Association, or NRA, is a conservative organization dedicated to allowing every American, no matter how delusional, to own as many guns as they want. The organization spends millions of dollars bribing Congressmen and women to oppose legislation that would regulate [gun] ownership or use in any way. They campaign for the right of every citizen to own an automatic assault [rifle], and the right of every consumer to buy so-called "cop-killer" armor-piercing bullets. This is justified on the basis that many deer now wear [kevlar] [body armor] in the woods. And you never know when you might be surrounded by a herd of crazed blood-lusting deer. Charlteton Heston was the president of the NRA until he was forced to retire due to the onset of Alzheimer's disease.