Ted Stevens

Ted Stevens is the senior republican senator of Alaska. In 2006 he vehemently opposed a bill supporting network neutrality, a topic he clearly knew nothing about as he described the internet as a "series of tubes." Fortunately, he was indicted on seven counts by a federal grand jury for failing to report gifts received from the oil company, VECO. He is without a doubt the grouchiest member of the senate and ironically is one of the only people in america that does not seem to appreciate the natural beauty of his home state, as shown by his support for drilling in ANWR. There have been unconfirmed reports that he has given oil companies permission to perform some "exploratory drilling" between his daughter's legs.