Constitution Party

The Constitution Party

(wikipedia please don't sue, liberals welcome all to edit, regardless of experience.

The ==Constitution party== is the only major third party worse than conservatives, in that they corrupt liberal practices for their conservative ends. They enjoy drinking Puppy blood and the brains of Mexicans, and do not want Mexicans in the USA because eating corporate fast food makes them lose the flavor.

They are extremely racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-mexican pigs who aim to keep the constitution the way it was written hundreds of years ago except when it suits their agenda to ignore it, and bring back all the nutty biblical laws about 'not eating fruit from a five-year-old tree' and 'stoning fornicators' and 'murdering gay people' and 'making women veil themselves at all times.'

They support tariffs, which is good, but only because they do not want any of the products they buy to have been touched by people not from America. They want to make the government simultaneously too small to create jobs to the people who need them, and large enough to enforce the rule of the old bearded dude in the sky who made them out of mud. They say that the United States should not interfere with the murder in the rest of the world, which is at least better than conservatives, but this is because even the teeniest tax amount to fund the military, never mind beneficial social programs, is too much.

They hate people with a different skin color than them, and want to be able to deny poor immigrants based on ill health, criminality, low morals, or financial dependence. Because obviously, the people who are financially independent and perfectly healthy are just begging to be let into a land that should give them all that they already have. They reject claims of amnesty for immigration, and hope one day that nobody will be allowed in to a land of freedom and justice for all, because there will be a wall taller than the sun made of cement and guarded by volunteers swarming with guns.

They want all abortion illegalized, no appeals whatsoever, not even when it would kill the mother.

They believe that the government should enforce a narrow definition of propriety, and that gay people should be murdered on sight. All porn will be illegal and punishable by the death penalty. Is it part of great art? Tough titties. They would snap the dong off of David if they were allowed to and deprive millions of children the realization that a porn star penis is not an average length. When the kids find the porn which you have banned, because obviously when something is illegal it simply stops, they will grow depressed and commit suicide.

They want it so that government people do not need to learn how to read, they only require that everybody in the USA know english perfectly.

They believe that charity, an act that occurs at the whim of a person, is better than welfare, and that the federal government has no business whatsoever helping people who need help.

They believe that States should be free to just break off from the government whenever they feel like it.

They want drug restrictions brought in, so that when they take over the world with their American Nazi army, everyone else will be too high to offer resistance against the glorious motherland.

In short, this is what fascism is - they want a big government like we have, not to help people, but to step on their toes. So they're like conservatives, but with a bigger government and more racism. As if that was possible.