Christmas

Christmas Is something that is celebrated on the 25th of December every year. It is traditionally a celebration of the birth of Jesus who many believe to be the son of god, in more recent years it has been hijacked by big business who like to remind us that Christmas is coming from mid August onwards. Ironicly many of the big businesses who infect Christmas with all the mass marketing hype are ran by the same Neocons who always like to talk about how Christmas has lost all of its meaning.

Christmas is better known as the holiday season. Only insensitive Americans call winter the "Christmas season". Other important events that happen during the holiday season are Hannukah, Winter solstice, Kwanzaa and HumanLight Day. HumanLight Day is a holiday for more Englightened inhabitants of North America, celebrated every December 23rd. Christmas was originally a Roman Pagan holiday, and decorating a Christmas tree is a Pagan custom, but don't tell Conservative Christians that because they'll get all uppity on you.

Health At Christmas
Christmas is now associated with the upper food group, which basically consists of fats and oils, along with the perfectly harmless candy cane or two. A recent study found that 92% of Candy that is left by Santa Claus consists of this food group. The other 8% is subsituted by the parents of children who do not wish those said children to enjoy Christmas. Whatever reason this switch is done for, some popular theories circulating the internet are Punishment, Health Kicks, and Poverty.

Also, Christmas plays an interesting proposition in the Dieting Triangle, Which is composed of Atkins, Christmas, and the New Year, which coincidentially, is new every year. The way this triangle functions is basically the same principle employed by a vicious circle. As, I must pick a point to start, I will, but Remember, the Circle has no set ending or beginning. So, the circle, where we begin, begins with Atkins. Around the 20th of December Atkins release multitudes of High Calorie, High Fat, High Sugar, High Cholesterol, High Saturated Fat, High Non Saturated Fat, and High Non-Non Saturated Fat pies into the shopping enviroment, and then they commonly appear at a building known as a foodstore. Some notable ones include Super-S, The General Package Store, And that old store or Parker Street that Is so bad that I don't even remember the name. Then, The pies are scarfed down by the American Public on December 25, which is Commonly Known as the Day of the Presents. Next, on December 27, Atkins releases TV commercials about their wonderful diets, and drops subtle hints how this would be a great new year's resolution. Atkins then sells diet plans to almost all Americans, and racks a fortune, which comes from the Pies and the Diets. It is worth knowing that this circle repeats itself annually.