Christianity

Christianity is an Abrahamic religion and comes in many different types. They’re all irrational because they believe that faith is better than Science and reason. Well, except for the Liberal Christians, who mix and faith and science together. This is a very hard thing to do, but they did it, and should be given the Noble Peace Prize for being the last sane Christian group who actually follow Jesus. In the Western world the Protestants and the Roman Catholics are the most important types of Christians. Protestant Christianity is a popular. It is part of the neocon plan to gain complete control over us. Fundy Protestantism involves going to church every Sunday, giving your money to the Preachers/Ministers/conservatives/Fox News, and taking the bible literally. You may be Christian if you like to be standing in the shadows of ignorance. You can be one if you want to. Just don't say we didn't tell you.

"But if you regret it, you may come again and confess for forgiveness. But you need to bring some 500 bucks or I can't help you. And remember, send a contribution in paper money, no checks, and you'll have a better sit in heaven."

Many of the more conservative Protestants avoid all subdivision labels, are particularly disparaging of the Protestant label, and refer to themselves strictly as Christians. They believe that 98% of professed Christians are lying and use this pulled-from-the-ass statistic to justify acting like a persecuted minority.

Roman Catholicism is commonly thought to interpret the bible literally, but in fact don't believe that, and believe that evolution happened, though theistic evolution it may be. Though many dumb catholics don't realize this and get swallowed by neoconservatives, even though their views are often different on every level. There is also speculation on whether the pope is a leprechaun. Overall the Catholic Church is preferable to fundy Protestant churches. Orthodoxy is a major sect of Christianity that formed after the Great Schism (in 1054 CE ). There are many Orthodox Churches, some important ones being the Church in Istanbul (Constantinople) [Can someone get the name for me?], the Ethiopian Orthodox Church which split from the Coptic Orthodox Church, and the Armenian Orthodox Church. Armenia was the first state to adopt Christianity, by the way.

Mormonism is another type of Christianity. Morons Mormons follow the Old Testament, the New Testament, and a third book, the Book of Mormon. Which is fucking weird. Apparently Jesus came to North America and converted natives.

Episcopalianism is another type. They sort of pick and choose aspects from Catholics, Protestants and a little Judaism.

Baptists follow St. John (the Baptist). They usually or always take the Bible literally and believe in Young Earth Creationism. The most prominent Baptist is Mike Huckabee.

Neocon View of Christianity
Christianity is a great truth. It explains things much better than evolution, which is a highly flawed fairy tale for adults. God loves you. If you don't believe in Christianity, you will greatly regret it later when you burn in hell, even if you donate to the poor and help the environment god will hate you if you are not christen, and that’s why He made it the only way to salvation.

Conservative Christians, on the other hand, believe Jesus was a white, fair haired, blue-eyed, apple pie and Mom loving good ole boy who believed in war, and hated scroungers, hippies, and anyone who wasn't a conservative. They worshiped their hero, Adolf Hitler, who was a Christian himself. Hitler is a good example of how Neocon Christianity has benefited the world. Through his extermination of Jews and other non-Aryans, and his causing of mass warfare, he brought divine hope onto Earth. However, the Neocon View of Christianity believes that the Liberals of the World wanted to spread evil and chaos, and therefore ended Hitler's reign of greatness.

Liberal Christianity
Liberal Christians on the other hand are nice, intelligent, have a sense of humility and know what the heck they are talking about. They also care about poor people. Unfortunately, only 7 of them exist and they all live in remote parts of the Canadian wilderness. Rumors of a liberal Christian sect in Pennsylvania are numerous, but never confirmed. The speculation is based on the prochoice stance of Senators Arlen Spector and Former Governor Tom Ridge.

From Liberapedia, a Wikia wiki.