Jesus Christ

Jesus of Nazareth (Capricorn) is the son of Mary and Joseph. Christians believe that Jesus died for their sins, however we all know Christians are deluded and their views aren't to be tolerated. If you run across somebody who still believes in the death and resurrection of Jesus, teach them about Charles Darwin and his amazing book, The Origin of Species. However, he could make a mean fish supper.

Liberal Perspective on who Jesus was
Jesus was a liberal who lived from about 4 BCE to about 37 CE. He was conceived out of wedlock and was born in either Bethlehem or Nazareth to some woman named Mary and her lesbian lover Josephina. He traveled much around that area during his life. He gained many followers, taught about kindness and goodness, and was claimed to be the Son of God. All true Christians are liberal like Jesus was.

Conservative Perspective on who Jesus was
Jesus was a conservative who lived from about 0 BC to about AD 33. He was born in a wooden manger to the Virgin Mary. After being born, he grew a beard and killed all the godless Arabs in Israel. After proclaiming himself the son of god, the Romans attempted to assassinate him, but being a conservative he was able to kill them all because of his right to bear arms. He then killed all abortion doctors and proceeded to heaven. All good Christians are conservative like Jesus was.