Republican

This article includes parody and satire as well as factual information.

Republicans are the Nazi party of the U.S.A.

Their name roots from the fact that they like to lick stuff at pubs, on a usual basis; re-pub-licking, later just shortened to republican. They are largely believed to be a dangerous cult that accuse others of "hating America," while they themselves despise the very freedom America is supposed to stand for.

What they Believe

 * The white male Christian God should be the only object of worship on the planet
 * Power and wealth should remain in the hands of 1% of the world's population while the remaining 99% starve.
 * Health care should be privatized so the poor can't afford basic medication
 * A rape victim living on welfare should be forced to care for a baby she didn't even ask for
 * The United States is the only real country on Earth and all those other countries they read about are just fakes invented by communists or terrorists.

What They Do
A bunch of conservative cowards that vote on prejudices. They are the party that simultaneously symbolize communism and totalitarianism while preaching otherwise.

They support spending tax money on lead-zers(lasers made of lead) to zap the poor with. Other thing they support are their country, their leader and their god. We are not entirely sure what a "god" is, but our intelligence reports(which are always right, of course) detect that it is some form of cottage cheese.

Members are expected to prostitute themselves to Ronald Reagan's memory.