War

'''WAR! HUH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? Well, if you asked that question, you have come to the right place.'''

The answer is quite a simple one: everything. War is awesome. For example, war boosts a nation's economy, gives restless kids some wholesome entertainment for a duration of time, and creates good reading for otherwise dreadfull history books. The greatest men of all time have been in wars and devoted their lives to war. Men such as :

Napoleon

Caesar

Chuck Norris

Stalin

Hannibal Barca

Saddam Hussain

Chuck Norris

Hitler

Diplomacy is preferable to war under any circumstances, but if war is instigated upon you, then you really have no choice.

Basically, what we are trying to say here is, war is wrong. The only exceptions we know are the American Revolution, the Greco-Persian Wars, the American Civil War, and World War Two.

Reasons Why War Is Always Wrong

 * Motives: Not only is war always the wrong approach to solving any political problem, it's essential evil is compounded by several of its inherent attributes. First, the true motives underlying a government's decision to wage a war are rarely disclosed to the populace which will be expected to fight, sacrifice, and die in it. Never was this more apparent than in the most current American war still underway in Iraq. In this case, the pretext for the proposed war was changed almost on a monthly basis during the run-up to the war, and during the more than four years of this debacle, all these previous justifications have been found to be complete fabrications, leaving us with the flaccid motto "failure is not an option" to justify this continued bloodbath.


 * Consequences: A second fundamental evil inherent in any war is the fact that it is the poor and underprivileged of a nation who are required to fight and die, while the affluent and powerful, usually corporate-affiliated (ie Conservatives) are the class who benefits. A third fundamental evil of war is that it is fundamentally evil. War destroys everything beautiful, sacred, and tender in its path. It destroys families, children, and communities, and jettisons the resources of both the aggressor nation and the victimized nation into a pyre of destruction.

Conclusion
War systematically and brutally undoes the work of mothers, fathers, teachers, farmers, doctors, nurses, architects, artists, and everyone who cares about life on earth. War is fundamentally incompatible with civilization. Anyone who suggests that war is an acceptable solution to any political problem is either stupid, selfish, evil, or all of the above - ie, Conservatives.

Exceptions

 * The American Revolution because it helped develop democracy
 * The American Civil War which freed the slaves
 * The Second World War which defeated Adolf Hitler and the evil Nazis
 * The Greco-Persian Wars because it allowed western civilization to develop, along with Democracy.
 * The Dominion War saved mankind and the Federation. Also saved the ratings of Deep Space Nine.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with cool, gory pictures. Well, good night, everybody. Peace, man. Bart Simpson"