Joel Osteen

Joel Osteen is an idiot whose worldview makes him a total determinist, with the exception of the fact that he thinks you should, "do all you can to make your dreams come true." He is also the pastor at the Lakewood Church, a gigantic megachurch in Houston.

Worldview
According to Osteen, if your Physics paper gets an, "F," grade, it is so that when you come crying out of the Physics building at your college, the girl you'll marry can come and meet you and comfort you. Than, a few years later, when your kid is diagnosed with leukemia, it is so you can get rich off the bestseller you wrote about it. Then, when your book convinces some poor Atheist to be Christian, God's will will have been achieved because, according to Joel Osteen; now they'll get to go to Heaven. In reality, of course, they will retreat to the Hell-like state of mind where you agree with Joel Osteen.