Conservative Dictionary

Understanding Conservative thought can be difficult. Not only is Conservative thought sometimes lacking Logic and irrational, it uses it some words and terms in unusual ways. To help you understand Conservatives better, we're trying to build a basic Conservative Dictionary. We realize that there are several regional dialects of Conservative, so we've just tried to cover the more generally accepted terms.

A
Annerkist -  An extreme type of Liberal who doesn't believe in government or law

AnnieChrist - The enemy of Christianity predicted in Revelations, likely President Obama

A Meracun - See Mericun

B
Barack Hussein Obama - Communist Kenyan Muslim atheist black man that was illegally elected President of the United                                             States

Barry Soetoro - See Barack Hussein Obama

Bircher - A member of The John Birch Society. Usually one smart cracker.

Black - A person of African heritage that knows his place

Block Vote - Shhh! Them's code words, son, we don't talk about that in public.

C
Church - My local Baptist church, of course, but even some of the American Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans,                  Episcopalians and Presbyterians, as long as they don't get too uppity

Cunsurvitive - Any God-fearing Christian white man with a lick of sense.

Constitooshun - Only the greatest conservative legal document ever written

- also a big wooden ship that kicked English Ass

Commie - A damned Democrat liberal who wants to take all our freedom and all our stuff and give it to the                         government

D
Demmacrat - A Godless commie liberal trying to destroy the constitution and my church and take my guns                              and Money

Deelemmuh - Where do I sit at the next barbeque now that my cousins Divorced each other?

Deevors - Another commie liberal plot, giving my wife the idea she can cut me off or throw me out forever after she caught me with another Marlene down by the creek at the 4th of July picnic.

Dumshit - Someone without a lick of sense, like the folks that still vote for Democrats.

Dyke - A type of of Godless commie liberal that's trying to destroy the constitution and my church and take my             guns and money that likes Girls

E
Eeleets - Deluded commie liberals who think they're smart enough to actually matter.

Ekonumee - That's what the damned Godless commie Liberal Democrats have all messed up. Should have known we couldn't pay white man's wages to everyone at the same time they're taking all my money to give to shiftless layabouts.

F
Faggit - A Type of Godless commie liberal that's trying to destroy the constitution and my church and take my                  guns and money that likes boys.

Flag - The Stars and Bars, of course!

Freedom - That's what we God-fearing white American men have and the rest of the world wants. We do what we want and if they don't like it, tough shit

G
Gawd - My Lord Jesus, of Course!

Geesus - My Lord and savior. I know he's real, because I call on him every time I hear about the latest commie liberal bullshit on Fox, and he keeps me safe, not one stroke or heart attack!

George Wallace - The last decent candidate before the commie liberals ruined the Democrats

Guvmint - What we have to make laws to keep the, Negroes, Mexicans, and White Trash in line and kick the                      ass of anyone who doesn't like how we do things in America.

H
Handout - What the Commie Liberals take from decent white folk and give to layabouts

Helms - My man Jesse! A good ole boy for sure, our dear fallen leader of the Conservative Cause gone to his Maker.

Hippie - A dope-smoking commie liberal who refuses to take a bath or get a haircut

I
Injun - A person of Native American descent. Don't you be saying nothing bad about my grandma.

J
Jeew - Some of them were good folks and became Christians after God sent Jesus to show us the light. The rest of them killed Jesus and have been greedy commie liberal democrats ever since.  Also they're sneaky and cheap, and make damn fine lawyers because they're smart as a white man, some of them look like white men, but they're not.  Watch out for them Jews, boy!

Jap - A heathen from Japan. They used to be pretty bad back when Grandpa was a boy, but we showed em the American way and now they make decent cars and damn fine TV's for watching Nascar.

Jackson - A decent God-fearing white man who was a pretty good president back in the day, other than being a Democrat

- Also a damn fine city named after Andy Jackson

- Also a uppity black commie Liberal Preacher who's always trying to turn out the block vote to screw the Republicans

K
Klu Klux Klan - The good ole boys of the local gentlemen's club.

L
Layabout - Any number of lazy democrats that think they're too good to get a job, or think they deserve white man's wages, so they lay around the house all day, breed like jackrabbits, and only go out to get their welfare check or buy more malt liquor.

Librul - Jesus!, don't get me started. See, I told you it worked! They're damned Hippies and Jews and all manner of greedy commie democrats that want to take my guns and my money and give it to the government so the government can give it to negroes and white trash and other shiftless layabouts to have more kids and get more money and so on and so forth.

Lincoln -  He's the founder of the Republican Party. Yes I know they say he freed the Slaves, but he only freed the ones in conquered territory, and he should have bought them all and set them free back in Africa like it says in the Constitution, but those damned Jew Yankees were too fucking cheap for that, so he did what he had to do to save America, and if that dumbshit Boothe hadn't killed him he'd have shipped them all back, but we don't talk about that because we're the Party of Lincoln and some of those dumb negroes might still vote Republican if we keep quiet about it.

Loozieanna - It ain't God's country, but parts are damn close.

M
Market - That's where the wife gets our groceries. Those damn commie Liberals are always talking about wanting Free markets, How the hell are we going to pay for that?

Marshall - That's Billie Earl, he's the fellow that makes sure the negroes are in before dark and keeps the negroes, white trash, and other shiftless layabouts in line.

- Unless you mean Thurgood! More like no good. Jesus! oh, worked again. Whoever had the bright idea of educating negroes should be shot! If educating negroes isn't bad enough, teaching one to be a lawyer is even worse. Appointing a negroe to the Supreme Court is a travesty! Should have known a negroe would have no respect for white man's liberty! That boy set the cause back years. Jesus! Oh, yeah, worked again.

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