Maggie Gallagher

Margaret Gallagher Srivastav (born September 14, 1960), better known by her working name Maggie Gallagher, is an American writer, commentator and a rabid anti-gay bigot. She writes a weekly syndicated column for Universal Press Syndicate where she usually bitches about how gay people are always ruining everything. She particularly resents being labeled a bigot. Just because she has has an unnatural obsession with tormenting Gays and wants to create laws that would make everything they do a criminal offense, why the hate? Can't we just agree to disagree? She is Catholic, so not letting her hate Gay people is violating her religious freedom (it's true, hating Gays is the foundation of Catholicism, just ask Bill Donohue). Occasionally she complains about other things, like the fact that a woman who has sex with a married man cannot be charged with a criminal offense, or that getting breast implants is something only a gold digging, sleazy whore would do. She went through a phase where she hated porn. She researched this subject tirelessly. She worked her fingers to the bone researching many, many, many films until she had an epiphany. All porn is fantasy. It can't be real because the women were actually enjoying sex and were "always inordinately pleased. That's why they call it fantasy". Really Maggie? Enjoyable sex where both partners are pleased is only something that happens in fantasies? She has published five boring books full of discredited reports and statistics that all have the same message "Marriage is the BEST thing EVER! But only if you're a heterosexual" Gallagher serves as president of the "Institute for Marriage and Public Policy", a nonprofit organization dedicated to making Gay people's lives miserable. When I said nonprofit, I meant Maggie personally keeps 42% of the donations for her salary. She is also the president of the National Organization for Marriage, which is pretty much the same as that other thing I mentioned, but with better graphics.

She is a Roman Catholic with social conservative "values", (if you consider hate a value).

Biography
Gallagher is from Lake Oswego, Oregon, where she attended Lakeridge High School. She earned a B.A. in Religious Studies from Yale University. Ironically, she managed to get knocked up, by a man with what I can only assume was a severe case of beer goggles (seriously, have you seen her?). Being a single, unwed mother somehow qualified her as an "expert" on marriage... Eventually, she did get married to a Raman Srivastav in 1993, although strangely no one has ever seen him or them together and no photographs exist of the alleged wedding, I mean for a marriage "expert" who has marriage "rallies" (hetero marriage rallies, thank you very much!) it seems a little suspicious that EVERY time she has to invent some excuse why he couldn't be there...It all sounds like that time in 9th grade when I made up that I had a girlfriend in Canada...Oh, by the way...Raman Srivastav is Hindu. It's true, Ms. Holier than thou Catholic is allegedly married to an idol worshiper who prays to many, many Gods, breaking TWO commandments and insuring an eternity in Hell. I know you think I'm making this up to make this article interesting but here is a direct quote "I've been exposed to a lot of different prayers, what with a New Age mom, nonreligious siblings, my own Catholic faith, a Buddhist sister-in-law, and a whole pack of Hindu relations (including my husband)." Her big break came when Dan Quayle got all pissy at fictional television character, Murphy Brown for fictionally getting knocked up and Gallagher wrote an op-ed for The New York Times, called "An Unwed Mother for Quayle", Because it got her pissed off too.

Carrie Prejean
When Perez Hilton asked Ms. California, Carrie Prejean about gay marriage and she said something like "no offense, but gays don't deserve to be treated like humans, Jesus hates them", Maggie, who once wrote a column blaming gays for choosing to be gay because everyone including her, was "of two sexes" (bisexual)and chooses their sexuality noticed the young, smooth, beautiful girl. In fact, all she could talk about for like two months was what a young, beautiful girl she was and what a dick that queeny old Perez Hilton is (and for once she was right, Perez is a douche). When it was revealed that Prejean had breast implants, (I KNOW!, remember how Gallagher is so anti-breast implants?) Gallagher, channeling the voice of Lenny from Of Mice and Men (The Abominable Snow Rabbit from Bugs Bunny if you don't get the reference) said something like "and I will hug them and squeeze them and pet them and pat them and rub them and stroke them and..." Then when it was revealed Miss Tits for Jesus had done some nude modeling, Gallagher was all, "SO?, bitch gotta get paid somehow!" and let it slide....Then when it was revealed that Ladyfingers Prejean had videotaped herself parting her pink sea, Ms. Crusade Against Pornography was like..."could happen to anyone. The important thing is she's a beautiful young girl that hates gays...by the way, where can I get that video?". Except when it turned out that Ms. Masturbates for Jesus produced, directed and starred in an entire 16 volume series of solo fun times...well..that's when Gallagher and Prejean finally had to face up to the reality of the situation and blame everything on the Liberal Media and Larry King.