Michael Pearl

Michael Pearl is a Fundamentalist Christian who advocates beating the shit out your kids for the tiniest of reasons, such as not wanting to play with a toy. He wrote the book, To Train Up a Child. Unsurprisingly, this book is most common in Red States such as Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi and South Carolina. RationalWiki has compared the content in this book to Mein Kampf due to its barbaric disciplinary techniques. RationalWiki also mentions a passage in To Train Up a Child where a father (supposedly a backwood redneck-Republican) beat the shit out of his 12-month old infant for forty-five minutes straight for not wanting to sit on his lap. A seven-year old adopted girl in California (yes you heard right, California) was killed by her Fundamentalist father for mispronouncing a word, spanking her across her legs for hours upon end. Her father was probably going to continue ruining her life by sending her to Pensacola Christian College where you cannot watch movies and are "probably" secretly beaten everyday by Residential Assistants.

We, the editors on this wikia,  WOULD NOT  be surprised if Michael Pearl would strike his kids in the face with a hot iron as well as golf clubs just for fun. Michael Pearl has a hobby of throwing knives, which he most likely used as a spanking tool for his children during their teen years, along with throwing the knives at the children.

Under a Ted Cruz-presidency, he would make child abuse legal and would be the Secretary of State.

Under Donald Trump, he (or Pat Robertson; disclaimer: Pearl guy is  MUCH WORSE  than Pat Robertson when it comes to parenting) could get a high position such as Secretary of Treasury or Defense (boy we are fucked if this happens)!