Rick Perry



Rick Perry is the current Governor/Emperor of Texas and and has been since December 21, 2000. His intelligence is called into question by none other than George W. Bush, which is saying something. Perry is a legit homophobe, as he believes that gays have powers to control the weather and will try to destroy America. He is also a CSA sympathizer, and lives on a ranch named after a racial slur. He extremely religious as well. He tried running for President in 2012, but he doesn't know how to debate (a rather large problem). He likes shooting things.

Rick Perry hates everything that is not:
 * 1) White
 * 2) American
 * 3) Christian
 * 4) Creationist
 * 5) Remotely Right Wing
 * 6) Strait
 * 7) Homophobic

Presidential Election
Just before the Iowa Straw Poll, Perry announced his campaign for President. He held a gigantic prayer rally. It was supposed to make Christians vote for him; but by the time the Iowa Caucus came around, the excitement had worn off. The only thing that Perry made people do was make non-Texans who had never heard of him and are smart enough to be agnostic/atheist/of an able understanding of the 1st Amendment and liberal realize how stupid he is.

Mormonism
During his campaign, a preacher from a megachurch named Robert Jeffress endorsed Perry by attacking Mitt Romney and saying that Mormons aren't Christians. He then said that Perry was the only guy who was conservative enough for evangelical Christians. Of course, this argument has several problems. The most obvious is that Robert Jeffress obviously has never heard of Rick Santorum (just as conservative), or Michele Bachmann (just as evangelical, conservative, and Tea Party). The other major issue is that Mormons believe that Jesus Christ is their savior, which is just as stupid, but defines them as Christian. And then there's the fact that evangelical Christians are wrong most of the time.

2016
This video proves two things. The first is that we can count on Rick Perry running again. The second is that he obviously would be at least as bad, and probably worse than our old friend W. These crazy Texas governors are up to something.

There is even a page supporting Perry in 2016. It is already very active, with 413 big idiots who "like" it (Dec 2013).

Jobs
People like him because he says Texas accounted for 49.9% of the job growth in America. That's true if you twist the facts to include all the states, not just the ones with job growth; and don't account for Texas's population growth. Also, he overstated the number of jobs making  above the Minimum wage. Texas is ranked 24th in unemployment, which is barely in the top fifty percent.