Christianity



Christianity is an Abrahamic religion and comes in many different denominations. All forms of Theism are irrational because they believe that faith is better than Science and reason. Well, except for the Liberal Christians, who don't try mix and faith and science together. This is a very hard thing to do, but they try to do it, and could be the last Christian group who actually follow Jesus. In the Western world the Protestants and the Roman Catholics are the most common sects.

Protestasnts
Protestant Christianity is a popular branch of Christianity in North America and Northern Europe. Fundy Protestantism involves going to church every Sunday and worshiping god.

Many of the more conservative Protestants avoid all subdivision labels, are particularly disparaging of the Protestant label, and refer to themselves strictly as Christians.

Episcopalians
Episcopalianism is another type. It has aspects from Catholics, Protestants and a little Judaism.

Baptists
Baptists follow St. John (the Baptist). They are known to take the Bible literally and believe in Young Earth Creationism. A prominent Baptist is Mike Huckabee.

Mormons
Mormonism is another type of Christianity. Mormons follow the Old Testament, the New Testament, and a third book, the Book of Mormon.

Morons
Some people consider christians to be ignorant due to verbal (and sometimes but to a much lesser extent physical) attacks gay people and their right to get married.

Roman Catholics
Roman Catholicism is commonly thought to interpret the bible literally. The only Catholic US president was John F. Kennedy.

Orthodoxy
Eastern Orthodoxy is the bit of Christianity left behind after the Roman Catholics split away in the Great Schism of 1054 CE. There are many Orthodox Churches, some important ones being the Church in Istanbul (Constantinople) the Ethiopian Orthodox Church which split from the Coptic Orthodox Church, and the Armenian Orthodox Church. Armenia was the first state to adopt Christianity, by the way.

Neocon View of Christianity
Christianity is a great truth. It explains things much better than evolution, which is a highly flawed fairy tale for adults. God loves you. If you don't believe in Christianity, and don't spend a big part of your life kissing his ass praying, you will greatly regret it later when you burn in hell, even if you donate to the poor and help the environment god will hate you if you are not christen, and that’s why He made it the only way to salvation.

Conservative Christians, on the other hand, believe Jesus was a white, fair haired, blue-eyed, apple pie and Mom loving good ole boy who believed in war, upheld the right to bear arms by always carrying his blessed Colt 45 "peacemaker" opposed Gun control, and hated scroungers, hippies, and anyone who wasn't a conservative. They worshiped their hero, Adolf Hitler, who was a Christian himself. Hitler is a good example of how Neocon Christianity has benefited the world. Through his extermination of Jews and other non-Aryans, and his causing of mass warfare, he brought divine hope onto Earth. However, the Neocon View of Christianity believes that the Liberals of the World wanted to spread evil and chaos, and therefore ended Hitler's reign of greatness.

Liberal Christianity
Liberal Christians on the other hand are nice, intelligent, have a sense of humility, know what the heck they are talking about and don't take the Bible literally (except some of the bits that Jesus actually said, like "Love thy neighbour", "blessed are the peacemakers" and "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the gates of heaven"). They also care about poor people. Unfortunately, only 7 of them exist and they all live in remote parts of the Canadian wilderness. Rumors of a liberal Christian sect in Pennsylvania are numerous, but never confirmed. The speculation is based on the prochoice stance of Senators Arlen Spector and Former Governor Tom Ridge.