Creationism



Creationism is a "belief" and myth that "God made it", which is a nice story for children and people of certain mental age, Rudyard Kipling wrote the same sort of thing. Young Earth Creationism is like other types of Biblical Creationism. Young Earth Creationists believe firmly that the Earth is about 6,000 years old because they think that’s what the Bible says. They try to scare you and tell you that if you don't believe them you will go to Hell. Basically, to sum creation up, Creationism is the arrogant belief that everything appeared out of no where just for our own benefit.

Creation "Science" is an attempt by Social Conservatives to make their version of the Origin of the Universe equal to the real explanation, with such evidence as "the moon dust is only as thick as it has been 6000 years ago since the moon first existed" or "The Bible". The supporters of the theory are called creationists, though "apes" would probably be a more accurate expression.

The media often wrongly states that there is a debate between creationism and evolutionary theory. In fact, the debate is between creationism and the whole of science as we know it. If the universe is less than 10,000 years old, then: all of geology and biology are wrong; the speed of light has been wrongly calculated, so Einsteinian physics is wrong; the distance and speed of other galaxies has been wrongly calculated, meaning that all of astronomy and therefore Newtonian physics are also wrong. For informed people to challenge accepted scientific orthodoxy on the basis of proper evidence is always healthy, but to debunk the whole of science on the back of a story passed down by some Bronze Age or Iron Age goat-herders is self-delusion. According to Gallup 45% of Americans believe in literal creationism However when these statistics are adjusted for stupidity, no one believes in creationism. Why are creationists so silly? If they really were descented from Adam and Eve and Noah with all the inevitable inbreeding that stupidity whould be understandible but we know that's just Bronze Age mythology. Clearly there is no God giving creationist wisdom or wise guidance.

Oh dear

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The Creation
Creationists believe that one day God was in his room playing with his toys. Then he got out his Playdough and made a blue ball. He put some more dough of different colours onto the blue dough-ball, thus creating the land and the sea. Furthermore, he took all his little action figures and placed them about on the Play dough, creating the Earth's animals. Finally, he took his Ken doll and thus created Adam.

The Growth of Mankind
There are two different stories to the Creation theory. One, is that Ken Adam said to God, "I'm lonely." So God went into his sister's room, stole one of her Barbie dolls, and gave it to Adam and named it Eve. The other story is that while Adam was sleeping, God ripped one of the ribs off Adam's body and Eve sprouted from that. This is not possible as humans cannot regenerate from a single rib. Also, even if the rib fully regenerated into a human, the rib would have become a clone of Adam since his cells and DNA are in that rib.

Adam and Eve got kicked out of the Garden of Eden because they were hungry, and accepted some food from a talking snake (which can't exist) (see peyote), Adam and Eve had two children, Cain and Abel. Cain was mean, and Abel was nice... so Cain killed Abel. Then he went off and had sex with his sister (wherever she came from) or with his mother and gave birth the next generation of man. However, these kids weren't nice to God, so he turned on the tap and drowned them all. However, he liked one man: Bob the Builder Noah, and his family. He had them build themselves a nice little boat so they wouldn't be washed down the drain. God had them bring two of each animal from his extensive collection. Now, God pulled the drain, and the passengers on the boat got off and had sex with each other. Then the next generation had sex with each other and this repeated to where you, my dear reader, are now.

Therefore, according to Creationists, you are the result of thousands of years of incestuous relationships because some higher power grew bored in his room while playing with his toys.

See Adam and Eve.

Trivia
There are in fact two different versions of Eve's origins. Use with caution against conservative friends who say you must take the Bible literally when there are actually two versions of the same story.

Eve was actually the second wife of Adam, Lilith being the first. Believe it.

According to the second story Lilith was banned from Eden because Adam didn't like the way she looked. She later married a demon and now spends her time killing Adam's offspring in their sleep as revenge.

Creationists



 * Main article: cdesign proponentist

Creationists are a bit stupid and Ape-like.'''OBJECTION! APES ARE MUCH SMARTER!''' This provides indirect evidence that Humans are indeed descended from apes. They also appear to have been largely ignorant of most of modern science. If you want to identify creationists, bring up the Theory of Evolution in a discussion. If they clap their hands over their ears and shout out Bible verses at the top of their lungs, there you have it. The reason why creationists say they didn't evolve from apes is because their brains haven't evolved past the ape stage, therefore their statement is partially true.

Fundamental differences from mainstream science
We can generally get scientific knowledge and by assuming that physical laws apply universally and when we observe the Universe we can see the same laws applying all the time. We also assume that logic works. We get what we know about science by oberving how things are and what's happening, we develop theories from what we know, and do experiments to find out if our theories are right.

As you can see on the picture on the right creationists are stupider than mentaly disabled people. Although they are themselves.

Creation "science" (not really science as it does not fit the definition) just says, "It's true because it says it in the Bible, you'd better believe it or you'll go to Hell." They don't bother with rational arguments.

Creation Science relies on the assumption of magic and its pursuit depends universally on techniques such as surprise, surprise and fear, being the two main techniques; and ruthless efficiency... Amongst the techniques used in pursuit of Creation Science are such diverse elements as surprise, fear, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope and nice red uniforms or more frequently devotion to some type of Protestant Christian fundamentalism,

Videos

 * Penn & Teller's Bullshit! (The Bible)
 * 1st Foundational Falsehood of Creationism